Self Help — an escape from oneself
Consider the following statements:-
- I am useless
- It is all my fault
- I am the reason why it went wrong
….. sound familiar?
It is natural to identify oneself as the reason for a problem, a bad result or failure.
It is also natural also for us to point the finger and lay the blame elsewhere.
Mistakes are inevitable! We are human after all!
When you feel backed in to a corner by others (or by your own conscious) — the situation has gone way too far!
You need help to build a resilience. There is no harm in walking away if things have got critical. You may be an employee, in a relationship, a family member-but if you need to escape do it.
Try building a coping mechanism. i.e. a sequence of procedures to bring you through a difficult time and allow you to reason an hence accept yourself.
Here are a few framework factors to enable you build a coping structure.
( a) Time (i.e. the passage of a time period)
( b) Distraction
( c) Rest
( d) Different angle
( e) Blocking negative people
Many issues just seem to go away by themselves. So readdress it the following day or say after the weekend. Sometimes during the time period a trouble will just evaporate. This is very true where our reasoning was skewed.
Take a break, then move on to something else. Revisit at a later time. Being distracted often allows the time period to nullify an issue as stated above. But by revisiting we often have a solution that was not or did not seem an option before.
Make sure you are getting enough rest. When we can’t sleep we still need to rest. Lack of rest is more unhealthy than a lack of sleep. The key here is to take a rest when you need to. If you have not been sleeping well at night, try to have a up to a 30 minute sleep during the day. You will feel refreshed. Don’t expect it to resolve everything instantly though small steps are what count.
Try looking at the issue in another way. This different angle occasionally can result in a problem becoming just an alternative situation or even an advantage. Another perspective can reduce the impact of an issue. It can also fragment it, allowing for extraction of easily resolvable or irrelevant points.
This last one (Blocking negative people) I like because it makes me laugh when someone suggested it (and how they suggested it) to me. “Don’t listen to unnamed when he/she talks - all that comes out of his/her mouth is sh*t!” Simple. just like to cure stage fright imagine your audience is naked. Hence having labelled the unnamed person toxic, they can no longer influence you.
I stop here after stating this:-
You can’t trust anyone but you, yourself but sometimes you can’t even do that!
